Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Judging the judgmental

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you"


We all are judgmental. You, me everyone. May be it is human nature. But everything given and taken, being judgmental is not so "cool" every time. We are self appointed critics and every time we pass judgments about others we consider ourselves above others. 


“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” 

― Earl Nightingale

We all hastily judge people on basis of their words or actions, whether we know them or not. If some naive person orders for "Mojito" instead of  "Mohito (mə(ʊ)ˈhiːtəʊ)", we giggle at the person without acknowledging the fact that may be he is trying to fit in, may be he is trying to be one of you because he doesn't want to get judged. When you see a person calling a waiter in the most unsophisticated way in a posh restaurant, we feel disappointed. But we fail to see that he has spent his entire life to be able to eat in one of such restaurant. For him sophistication is not as important as satisfaction. We never try to know a person, we don't even evaluate our judgment and most of the times we stand incorrect about our judgment.


“When we make judgments we're inevitably acting on limited knowledge, isn't it best to ask if we seek to understand, or simply let them be?” 

― Jay Woodman


It's not that we should not judge at all. No, judging is important. You have to know and understand the people in your life, you have to judge their influence on your life and then ultimately make the decision whether to keep them in your life or not. But the problem is that we turn blind when we judge. Even if we are judging a person we know, we might get biased because the person committed an act you despise. If we be more understanding, compassionate and communicative, lots of problem in our life will end. 


"The basic problem with communication is the illusion that it happened."


This habit of being judgmental is a nasty one but it's useful if you just do it right. And like any art, the art of judging also needs time and effort to perfect it. When you see things from far, they are usually blurred. So rather than judging someone from across, go near them, build a bridge and then judge him. No one likes being judged nor the people who judge. To avoid this there are couple of steps we can take:

Accept: Accept the person as he/she is. If you're uncomfortable, its your problem.

Avoid: If you cannot stand the person, if you cannot restrain yourself from judging, avoid looking at such things.

Understand: Difficult, but worth a shot. The deeper you go, the more mysteries you uncover. 

Compassion: Not everyone is alike but due to the pressure from society, some people try to fit in. So if they commit mistake, help them rather than judging them.


"Some people will believe anything, if it is whispered to them."



Don't believe what you hear, don't believe everything you see. Invest time and then reap the fruits of your efforts. Judgment brings distance among people, while understanding them will help build a bridge between people. Being judgmental will make you see villain in everyone, or make you feel above others and neither of it is true. Judgment always creates misconceptions. Misconception about others as well as misconception about us. So, judge less, understand more.


The more judgmental a person is the sadder they are.” 

― David W. Earle




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