It’s all about choices...

You are doomed to make choices. This is life's greatest paradox.

Wayne Dyer

Life is all about choices, some we are proud of and some haunt you forever, every day begins with a choice, a choice to be a warrior or a captive, a choice to win or to give up, a choice to take it or leave it and your day begins with making choices.

The choices that we make aren't always perfect but it's ok... It's part of the journey.

Hayley Williams

Why is it that we always have to make choices In life? Why can’t we just go on without making choices or by choosing all the options? This is one of the epic shit that burdens you with unwanted burden and regret for rest of your life. Sometimes the choices are easy to make and sometimes you feel it was better if I wasn't born.

When people have too many choices, they make bad choices.

Thom Browne

What is the best solution for it? No one has been able to figure it out, though there are some “scholars” who have a say at this. They believe that when you have to make choice where there is win-win situation, choose with maximum benefits and when its lose-lose choose the one that will cause less damage. Now imagine if you have to choose between a mother and a wife what the fuck are you going to do about it? You will leave home simple. What is more difficult to handle than to make choice is the chaos that arises before making the decision. The chaos hammers you so much and takes you down to the darkest and loneliest ally or even mountain cliffs.

Too often in life, something happens and we blame other people for us not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. So the point is, we all have choices, and we make the choice to accept people or situations or to not accept situations.

Tom Brady

But it is also a proven fact that you are made out of the choices you make and whenever you make one, make sure you don’t have to regret it later because I personally know how difficult it is to lead a life of regrets and not everyone is lucky to get a second chance. And when you are not sure what to choose, don’t. Just don’t make a choice because you have to, sometimes there is a third option which exists.

In this life, we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of our choices are between good and evil. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices.

James E. Faust

We also get influenced by what people have to say to us or about us and we react impulsively but it’s not needed. They can say whatever they want but you have a choice to react and how to react. Impulsive decisions may make you feel like a brave warrior but when the impulse calms down, you feel all the whole stupid. And those who can influence us control us. Hear what others say, but choose your reaction to it wisely. Your mouth and brain may lead you in trouble but your ears won't.

If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.

Heath Ledger

Sometimes in life you also have to make choices that are going to affect someone else’s life in a way you don’t know, but sometimes choices have to be made. Someone’s life may depend on your choice to donate blood, and whatever you choose will affect the other person directly. Sometimes it easy to choose and sometimes you walk in blind ready to take the fire. You are going to make choices and decisions that sometimes aren't going to always work in your favor and they are going to upset some other people. Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives. Many of our choices have led to the predicaments we are presently complaining about, but its all art and part of life.

          Living is part of life, but choosing how is an art of life. Make choices, irrespective of good or bad, because it is only the result that tells us how our choice was. Be fearless; be open because what you choose today will shape your tomorrow.

This is the part where i tell you to get lost!

Is being alone a bad thing? Is it a cause of suffering? Does having people around ensures happiness? There are many such questions that have ambivalent answers, but i think i have definite answers to some these questions. And you can agree to disagree!

People are not at all necessary, they are necessary only for your social and psychological needs. Especially those people are unnecessary who just exist for namesake. And those people are definitely unnecessary who take you for granted and you still hope for them to reciprocate!

Times have changed in a way that is more unpleasant and it has harsh realities that we don't want to accept. But that doesn't change the reality that the world has become selfish, self-centered and indifferent. And to an extent there is nothing wrong about it because you cannot blame one person for it. It's a result of everyone's doing. The friend circles have shrinked, people have become less empathetic, they care less, and they don't mind moving on. 

There is always a relationship, a friendship in everyone's life where we care more than we should, we expect more than we should and eventually we feel more than we should, but there is no reciprocation from the other person. It happens. Not everyone thinks same as you do, not everyone has to feel the way you do and not everyone has to care as much as you do. Everyone has the right to define their own priorities and so does you. But this scenario can be painful and so it is necessary to ensure that you have exercised control on your emotions. Contemplate things as they come your way and like a fool don't let yourself get played. Emotions are good but emotional drama is something we don't want. 

We say we should not judge, but as we live in a hypocritical world, we have all the rights to do so. Sometimes you should judge people, not because they have done something wrong but to ensure they when things go wrong, they will be there. You don't need people whose name only exist in your life. Keep people who are real, who care and who are there for you. Number of people in your life doesn't mean anything, it doesn't help you in any ways. Even if you have couple of friends you can be happier than most other people. You don't need to lead a life with unnecessary baggage. It's fine to cut off people from your life and let them go. Don't judge yourself about it and don't care about other's judgement too, because we are all the birds on same branch with difference being what you have done to them, they have done it to someone else. 

No matter how many contacts you have on whatsapp or facebook but you will be talking to only 5-10 people out of that. And that is more than enough, seriously! More the people, more the gloominess, more the drama, more the expectations. We don't need that. Sometimes there are also relationships/friendships that matter a lot, but the expectations are not balances and you are sure to get irritated and feel neglected. But here you don't have to give up or become cynical, just take a time off and accept the fact. Personally for me, taking a break from all social platforms has helped me accept things i wasn't able to earlier. Acceptance make life easier and relationships, complication free. 

Take a break and think, who deserves to be in your life and who should be cut off. Its fine to let them go. Be cool about it. And those who have completely neglected you, your feelings, your caring and have taken you completely for granted. give them back. That's my favorite part.

Regrets you don't want!

 Bronnie Ware at http://inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html.

According to the above mentioned blog the top 5 regrets people make on death bed are :

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

If we think carefully we all might end up having the same regret on our death bed. We are yet in our quarter life but we can relate to every regret listed above. 

Often we get frustrated of our life being orchestrated by opinions of others, views of others and expectations of others, so why don't we take a stand there for ourselves? Why can't we raise our voice to lead our life as we please? For once we will take up what others want us to, but will we be happy? Regret is an anchor. It never allows you to lead your life smoothly. It will keep you dragging back. Don't let yourself get torn between what it is and what it could have been. It's not pleasant.

As soon as we graduated, we were all worried about money because of sudden urge to be independent financially. We work hard, we work dedicatedly to make our life and the lives of people who depend on us financially but ultimately we end up having "No life". We work like an ass to build bank balance by making a trade off with subtle pleasures if life. We miss being with family, sharing happiness with them, having a hearty laugh etc. We are so much worried about future that we don't have time to reflect on happiness of present.

We all are so much worried about others that we suppress our feelings to maintain the relationship. Sometimes there is nothing left in a relationship, but we don't express it because we don't want to hurt. Sometimes we love someone very much but because of fear of rejection or spoiling friendship, we don't express our feelings. We always underestimate the understanding of the opposite person. Its better to express than to impress. We cannot control reactions of others but it is important to blurt out. Honesty always comes with a price, and here it may make your relationship better or set you free from a bitter one.

Life is a race and if you don't run fast, you will be consumed by the world. We just run blindly behind job, money, marriage, responsibility etc.. that we forget to spare time for ourselves and more importantly our friends. With most of us now already working, we might be experiencing that we don't have time to chat, we haven't caught up with a friend since many days, we feel aloof from friends. This is bound to happen and how you make time or whether you make time is up to you. Life will get busier with time and there is no better stress buster than old friends. Don't let them slip. 

You cannot learn to live, if you don't step out of your comfort zone. Most of the happiness we seek lie outside our comfort zone and its a matter of choice whether we explore them or not. Its just the beginning that seeks courage. Take the first step and everything else will follow on its own. Don't get stuck up in day to day things, allow yourself to be happy. Its your life and your choice, so choose what you want for yourself! Live free. Live happy. Make a choice. Now!

7 tips screw up your life.

If not anything else, we are all an efficient screw driver and so here I present few ways to put your skill to use.

High expectations: If you are living on ground floor, keep your expectations as high as the tallest building in the world. This shall help you ruin the relationship/friendship that matters so much to you. You don't need to be understanding, you just need to be understood. People are born to fulfill our expectations.

Validation: Always worry about what people have to say about you. It is important for you are born to please people and it will help you gain their love and attention, though eventually they are going to leave you for who you have become. Never make peace with who or what you are for self happiness means nothing.

Negativity: Whenever you are going to do something, always believe in yourself, always say you cannot do it. If you won't think so, there are volunteers who have made it their mission to infuse lack of confidence in you,

Leaving pasta for past: Present sucks, future is dark so why not dwell in past? And since we are dwelling in past, why not visit the tragic and unpleasant memories? As it is we are bad at remembering happy memories. Making present better is such a waste of time. Screw happiness, screw oneself. We have past because we should know where to look exactly when we are happy with our lives.

Hold grudges: Hold resentment. Hold anger. Make them pay for what they did to you. Build up the anger within you for it is affecting them. Never let go or wait for right time to strike in cold blood for it's too much time consuming and not at all fun. Why wait to screw ourselves up when we can do it right here, right now?

Runaway: Never say what you feel, never face your problems, never think about yourself. Runaway from everything and be sure everything will follow you to hell. Facing problems bravely and sorting them out is so plain boring and simple. Life is fun when its screwed and complex.

Don't do what you want: Living for oneself and following our heart is a tough thing to do. It has ups and downs but it somewhere makes us happy and keeps us satisfied. But if we are happy and satisfied won't the people have problems? Of course they will! So why not listen to everybody and follow them blindly? Why not shut the doors and windows to our brains and save energy while we have brains of others to run on? 

Downfall

Most of the time when we blame us or others for something that went wrong, we are wrong. Amidst every equation there is an undefined and unsaid element that exists which we fondly know as "Expectation". Expectations are really like weed which slowly engulfs the plant that you have sown and nurtured for so long. We humans are hungry for love, care and attention but we sometimes forget to give space and time to others. We are undoubtedly selfish and that's where we suffer. Our expectations soar too high too soon and when they are not met, we feel saddened and disappointed. Sometimes we realize that we are wrong but we cannot convince ourselves of that and we start to blame others. We are so desperate to be understood that we forget to be understanding. Expectations are two ways and its important to keep it balanced. No two people are same and nor are their expectations. What you have ordered is not what the other person wants to eat. But no matter whatever we say, we do, our heart is always successful in strong arming our mind. It's a tough battle between heart and mind and the worst part is, its a lose-lose situation for us. We all have learned it the hard way that expectations cripple relationships but again and again we cannot stop it from soaring to fill the emptiness in our heart. Nobody is here to live up to your expectations and nor are you here to live up to anybody's expectations. I expect that I will be able to free myself from the harms of expectation, but again I am expecting.

“Dreams are necessary to life.” ― Anaïs Nin

“I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.” 
― Langston Hughes

We often end up in strangled and tangled in things we never wanted to do and the sad part is we give in instead of fighting the way out. Expectations, pressure, fear, influence etc. are the factors that guide our choices and their existence is inevitable but to keep a firm mind is a choice we can make.

Its not bad to have dreams and choices that sound crazy at first. You don't have to always end up doing the "typical" things. Quoting Ranbir Kapoor from one of the most loved movies of today's time, Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, "22 tak padhai, 25 pe naukri, 26 pe chokri, 30 pe bachche, 60 pe retirement ... aur phir maut ka intezaar ... dhat aaisi ghisi piti life thodi jeena chahta hoon"

Why are we so afraid to take up our dreams and pursue it? 

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” 

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable.”

― Christopher Reeve, Nothing Is Impossible

We have one life and its boring to live it to please others. Why should we end up doing things that doesn't motivate us? Do something that doesn't let you sleep at night and makes you wake up early in the morning. Do something that you will do just because you love it and not for money, fame or success. Do something that you will not get bored off eventually. It is also true that not all dreams are easy to pursue or not all dreams will come true, but until and unless you take it up how can you know how the journey will end for you? You can shut your brains and work like a machine to fill up your bank accounts but you will always feel the regret of not taking up something where your heart lied.

As very well depicted in the movie 3 idiots, it is important to chase dreams and if you don't you will just lead your life in regrets. "Darwaze par gaadi khadi thi, thodi si himmat kar leta to zindagi kuch aur hoti". The main benefit of pursuing your dream is there is no difference between work and play then. 

You're never given a dream without also being given the power to make it true.” 
― Richard Bach

We might take up a job today that fetches half a million to million rupees per annum but then our lives will end up as a compromise forever. Don't do anything because you have to, do something because you want to. Its not wrong in making unconventional choices. Becoming a writer after taking a degree in science, becoming a painter after getting degree in MBA, becoming a dancer after becoming CA, its all fine until you are happy with it. Not every decision in life is taken keeping in mind money or people around us. Sometimes some decisions have to be taken for us, for our happiness. You might have bumps while pursuing your dreams, but no road guarantees smooth ride. That can be a scene with your job too, right? You might not rise to richness as quickly as your peers, but you will rise to happiness and satisfaction, faster than anyone. 

“Don't you find it odd," she continued, "that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try.” 
― Ethan Hawke, The Hottest State

If anyone stops you from pursuing your dreams, you have to take a stand against it. But to be able to do so, first you have to be convinced of your dreams, you should be confident of achieving it, your dream should be your passion. If you yourself will be unsure about your dream, people will influence to drop it. Dreams are crazy, they have to be and that is what makes it fun to follow them. Today the level at which human race is functioning, is a result of dreams of many. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. First they will call you crazy, then they will oppose you and then they will follow you. 

"No person has the right to rain on your dreams.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Bolly Shit !!

From the time i have started watching Hollywood movies, i have started to despise Bollywood movies to the core. Over the time i have tried to compare Hollywood and Bollywood movies and i feel terrible that till date we are entertained by movies where we don't have to use our brains, infact we are suggested not to carry our brains along to the cinema! Indian audience is so naive and gullible that anything spicy will keep them engrossed and that's the reason why inspite of having biggest movie industry Indian cinema still lags behind in terms of substance. According to me Hollywood has edge over Bollywood in following matters:

1) Science? What's that? : As against flying cars and wall smashing punches, Hollywood stunts seem more real and believable. We are so obsessed with Rajnikanth that we tend to applaud every bullshit he carries out on screen. In Bollywood Budget is inversely related to story and logic.



2) The Jaadu of graphics and special effects: This is the point where Bollywood doesn't even come close. The finishing and polishing is so marvelous that you forget for a moment that you are watching fiction.Be it animated movies or sci-fi, they seem as real as they want us to believe. e.g. Despicable me, Avengers etc.



3) Variety of subjects: For years aliens have been invading earth in Hollywood and when those aliens land in Bollywood, what crops is a pathetic series of sequels. For that matter even superheroes are a good consideration. Marvel and DC superheroes still reign the screens and our own Krrish makes us look so minuscule against the likes of Iron man, Hulk, Thor, Flash etc. In Bollywood we still fear to touch the taboos, deliver social message and deliver truth. Such movies hardly work here. e.g: Udaan, B.A pass, Dostana etc.



4) Bas ab aur nahi !: In Hollywood even the 7th movie of the series (Fast 7) keeps you as much engaged as the earlier movies, while in Bollywood sequels are more pathetic than the prequel. There is absolutely no grip, no story, no connect and the writers manage to come up with even worse script than before. E.g.: Mast, Grand masti, race-race 2, Housefull-Housefull 2, Don-Don 2



5) Jo dikhta hai wo nahi bikna chahie: In Hollywood they have intimate scenes but they don't need to stoop down just to grab eye balls. In Bollywood, a hot item number, skin show, intimate scenes ensure attention and earnings but its senseless. A pretty face cannot make up for lack of acting but who cares? We don't mind porn stars becoming actors but we do mind their straight face acting and erotic expressions every now and then! We don't need a badnaam munni or a jawan sheila, we can do with acting though.



6) Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kon hai: Hollywood has more professionalism and that is the reason why they have such good actors as against Bollywood good actors are underrated and influential actors gain the starlight.

7) Adaptations: By God's grace Hollywood is blessed with real writers to adapt their writings as movie while all that Bollywood has got is Chetan Bhagat! I mean is there any ban on Indian directors adopting works of foreign artists? If so i demand it to be lifted right now!




8) Nakal mein bhi akal nahi: Just one sentence: "Knight & day Vs. Bang Bang"



9) Its more about spice than story: Bollywood has been so much stereotyped that people who believe in real cinema now expects nothing but crap from Bollywood. And due to this when occasionally a good movie comes, it becomes the target of expectations. E.g.: Baby, Wednesday



10) Khincho!! Aur Khincho !!: Hollywood movies are brief and to the point and still manages to be logical, amusing and delivers promptly while in Bollywood we need a dream sequence, a totally useless dialog and pointless scenes to offer censor board to use their scissors ( If they really do).