It's okay

There are many things in life we are afraid of as children, but exams are (were) our biggest nightmares. No doubt exams are important to evaluate the attitude and aptitude of a student but are they so important that students have to be afraid of them? Think not

We live in a very fast moving and a hyper-competitive world where everyone wants to stay on top. There is an invisible race going on where coming first is the only option and if you don't, you will be branded a loser. But do we become one? It's important to study, score good marks and excel but only as long as it is healthy. Once it starts taking a toll on a student; physically, mentally and psychologically, someone needs to tell them that it's okay to be average!

What will happen if a student is average? He won't get into a good college? He won't get a good job? He won't get a beautiful spouse? He will die middle class? You don't know! Marks should not be the barometer to measure the intelligence or future of a child. You don't know how things are going to shape up, how life is going to take a turn and how he might turn the tables.
Most of the things we cram up, we are not going to use in our lives. Studies don't make us smart. It makes us a nerd. Help a child develop street smartness, allow them to excel at a sport, some art or wherever their interest lies. What's the assurance that after scoring good marks and excelling at everything in your academics, you will end up living a comfortable life? what's the assurance that you will be happy? What's the assurance of anything?
I have always been an average student. Never to serious about studies. Though I have been told that I have caliber to be a topper, I never really stuck to it. I did MBA and now I have joined my family business. Now as comforting as it may sound, I haven't abused the privileges. I have developed my own market, my own customers and I am performing as good as they would have expected. Moreover I am happy (in a manner of speaking). And on the other hand, there are friends of mine, who studied their asses off, worked their asses off, earn good but they are nowhere near happy. They are still in a race. They will never be content. For them, there will always be someone better and ahead of them and that will not let them rest.
We have innumerable examples before us which clearly shows that marks don't define a person. The problem with our generation is that we are focusing only on studies and hardly on education. Educate your child. There are many avenues to life, many taboos, many issues, many complexities that need to be taught about. Don't impose your dreams on your child. Let them bloom in their own field. Teach them to see their own dreams, have their own vision and make them capable and courageous enough to follow them.
You need to understand that we are all too fragile psychologically, so don't push your child too much because they won't take time to break and take steps which you might regret for the rest of your lives. Tell them it's ok to be average. Tell them it's okay to not score 100/100. Tell them it's okay to lose. Tell them all that matters is their happiness.
Pull your child away from this mindless race and set them free on a path where their heart lies and watch as they paint their own sky and build their own sun.

Identifying speed bumps & dead ends!

So lately I have been carrying a lot of frustration around with me because of reasons that look huge but are trivial (not so much) in retrospect.
I am a kind of person who puts a lot of faith in himself and I am sure of my ability to achieve certain things. And like most Gujarati kids, I have joined my family business alongside my dad. Now you can picture a young, energetic, well educated and an ambitious guy brimming with new ideas and endless zeal, wanting to change things, prove himself and become successful. Yeah, that’s me! Patience is one virtue I have failed to acquire and well, it has been an issue sometimes but not always. Keeping that aside, I started going to the office since I was attending my college and finishing up my bachelors degree just to get the feel of the business. For a couple of years, till I finished my MBA, I observed things around and made mental notes of things that needed to be changed (how 2nd generation-ish). When I joined the office full time, I tried to make those changes, taking up ideas to my dad and my uncle, trying to do something but every time met with disappointment.
The generation gap does play a role but we are not here to discuss that so chuck it!
I had a new idea every day- about business, about the way things were done, about people, about culture, about products, about marketing etc. and of course most of them met their end in my mind itself, a few made their way to fruitful execution.
Now, it has been a couple of years and I am still the same guy, but a bit wiser. Over these couple of years, I have learned that it’s difficult to get every idea of mine through to my dad & uncle’s mind. I acknowledged it quite early that if I kept going to them for every idea I had, I wouldn’t be able to do anything and so, I started making changes which I could on my own at the lower level- things like canned responses, email signature, website, logo, paperless exchanges etc. These things weren’t too big but it made some difference and made me feel that I have contributed something.
There are still many ideas I want to implement like hiring more qualified personnel, expanding business areas, diversification, discipline, structure & organizational hierarchy, amplified marketing efforts etc which are still meeting with resistance because the first generation feels that they have achieved everything they could and it’s time to play safely while the second generation wants to take risks and want the first generation to hand over the baby.
Clashes are inevitable but they cannot be allowed to disrupt the working environment so what do I do? I keep calm.
With time and experience, you learn that you cannot do everything as you have planned at least not at once. There will come a time when you will be able to pave your own way and there will be enough trust and responsibilities upon you that you won’t be questioned. So until that time, you have to slow down, let things work out, let time come and then speed your way through.
We are a generation of “instant” things. So it’s obvious we get all worked up, excited, depressed and dejected all too quickly and give up on things just as easily as we come up with them.
Take an example. You are a young man with an average job with a passion for traveling whose dream is to explore the world one day. You want to leave right away but your bank account mocks your dream, so what do you do? You give up or you save up? Is it a speed breaker or a dead end?
Most of the situations we face are speed breakers but in our impulse, we see them as dead ends. We become too blind by either rage, dejection or likewise attitude that we bury the idea, dream, thought then and there.
Take another example. You like a beautiful girl from your neighborhood and you express your feelings to her but she rejects it. What do you do? You keep on pursuing or you accept it and move forward? Is it a speed breaker or a dead end?
It's ALWAYS A DEAD END JACKASS!
Learn where to put breaks on your dreams & efforts and learn where to let go of them completely and chances are you will have way fewer regrets and way more happiness.
These things are generally figured out in retrospect but let’s try to implement them in our daily process and take things ahead accordingly.
So the car you want, the girl you like, the career you want to pursue, the lifestyle you want- everything is there and isn’t there. You just have to decide whether it can wait or not!
Thanks